How Can a Man Be Rightly Sure of Himself?
First presented in a public seminar at the Aesthetic Realism Foundation, New York City.

Like many men, I thought I would be sure of myself if I made a lot of money, had nice clothes, a substantial career and impressive friends. Though I tried to act like a "nice guy," I went after these things aggressively. But even as I got many of them I felt empty, and with every year, less sure of myself.

I learned from Aesthetic Realism that a man will be rightly sure of himself when his purpose is to try and be fair to people and the world itself. This is good will, and it's not a soft thing. Good will is a beginning, organic drive in a man, and if he is untrue to it, he'll be deeply unsure no matter how much he swaggers and tries to cover it up. Eli Siegel has defined good will as "The wish of a person that good things happen to things—things include people—with the desire to know what those good things are." And he explained:

The having of good will as not contrary to logic or care for self, is the greatest mental attainment that is possible. This is a corollary of the Aesthetic Realism belief that liking the world on an honest basis, without smooth deception of oneself, is the purpose of man and of life.

Many of the ways I tried to be sure were against that purpose. I wanted to be better than other people—smarter and more savvy. This, I learned, was contempt, and I've seen that what I really wanted was so different.

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