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Faust

I still have no idea what exactly this adventure was about. Let me recount the plot for you in all its idiotic glory (and let me warn you that I'll be giving away what might charitably be called a plot twist, if this game had a plot, so perhaps you won't want to read further if you are planning on playing this game...but believe me, playing this game is a very very bad idea):

You're an old black guy named Faust recruited by Mephistopheles and God to help determine the ultimate fate--heaven or hell--of seven carnival freak show denizens who've cut Faustian bargains with Mephistopheles. (Need I point out that it's more than a tad silly that the guy named Faust in this story is someone who *doesn't* sell his soul?) You must gather evidence about whether these people are good or not. Never mind that Mephistopheles is near-omnipotent (and God is all-the-way-omnipotent) and seems to know every detail of these people's lives and would therefore have no apparent need of your services in this regard. And, weirdly, the ultimate fates of these characters is never referenced (though you--or, if you are not available, a block of wood--can easily figure them out). Later it turns out that you're actually an angel who got busted and subsequently demoted for letting Mephistopheles get romantically involved with the fat lady. (Still with me?) And the owner of the carnival, as part of *his* Faustian deal, has agreed to replace Mephistopheles, who wants to retire. So since no one will be left to run the carnival after he takes the job as a demon, they want you to become human once again and take over the place, which is apparently your big second chance from God, who's, I have no idea, grateful for your help with these seven carnival freaks or something, although, as previously noted, he really didn't need your help anyway, so what was the point of all this? Was it all a subliminal hey-check-out-this-snazzy-carnival-don't-you-want-to-live-here kind of pitch? If so, you would kinda think that people like the homicidal Siamese twin and the abusive lion tamer would not exactly make him fall in love with the place.

Oh yes, and it's all supposed to be deep.

As another example of this game's impenetrable sense of logic, I should mention that Mephistopheles tells you soon after you remember that you're actually a fallen angel that you will soon have a chance to earn your wings again. Then, one ho-hum puzzle later, after the thing about the carnival guy's retirement, he contradicts himself and tells you that you'll never get into heaven as an angel again so you might as well become human. Did anyone actually read the script to this game?

As for the puzzles, for the most part they fall into three categories: (a) impossible, (b) too easy, or (c) obvious in that you know what you're supposed to do but infuriating because the method of accomplishing it cannot be determined by anyone but the authors of the game. Or maybe all these puzzles make perfect sense in France, where this game is from, I don't know.

I would also like to take this opportunity to ask adventure game creators to call a moratorium on combination lock puzzles. This game has (and I am approximating here) twenty-three jillion of them. Or that's what it felt like. Every major segment of this game has one. And they're all puzzles of the sort where the answer is basically hidden in plain sight, and you just have to interpret the info you find. This is, to me, the least satisfying type of puzzle in the world. There's nary an intuitive leap, it's just: look around the room until you see some numbers somewhere and plug them in.

I am now going to reveal the answer to the most unsatisfactory puzzle in this game, and, perhaps, the most unsatisfactory puzzle in adventure game history: the first of the too-many combination lock puzzles. You've got your basic safe, with your basic kind of safe combination dial on it. Except that the lock doesn't work with the number of spins one would be accustomed to using, so even after finding the combination, implementing it is a nightmare. But first you've got to find the combination. Now, this safe belongs to Siamese twins who are loan sharks. And it turns out that the combination is the sum of all the money they are currently owed.

Take a moment to let the incredible illogic of this sink in. Do they change their combination every month, after the interest compounds? What about if someone pays them back early? And what are the odds that four different accounts will add up to a convenient three-digit number with no decimals? Or is it just a big coincidence that the two numbers are the same?

One more thing about this game: it really wants you to know that adventure game characters go to the bathroom. Every locale in the game has a bathroom. Usually one that serves no purpose in the game and that you will waste time looking around in. (I did appreciate the Siamese toilet, though, as Charles predicted.)

I've given this game one star for the pleasant still shots (the *animated* sequences, however, featured incredibly unnatural-looking faces and weird repetitive body and arm movements that made me feel seasick, so no points there), the well-chosen music, and the few enjoyable puzzles, plus one extra half-star for camp value. This is a game you could enjoy on a "Plan 9 from Outer Space" level, reveling in its pretentious awfulness.

In summation, this game is bad. The people who wrote it are bad people. They should sit in the corner and think about what they've done. Thank you.

-- Francis Heaney -2000

Glitches:Quite a few, including missing cut scenes and things not working properly, like a sliding door that only opened half way.