The story of the Kurt Report

It's so complexly simple,
Yet simply comlex.
It's vaguely clear,
Yet so clearly vague.
It's the microcosm
In the macrocosm,
The cosmos of knowledge,
The quintessence of dust
In fact, it's the Paradox of Life.

From a tiny island, nestled near the mouth of the Hudson River, the Kurt Report has addressed people's need for intelligent humor and high-quality satire since 2004. The design of our jokes coupled with the quality of material selected reflect a caring craftsmanship so often overlooked in the world of comedy today. The Kurt Report is written with a time-honored respect and reverence for the traditional techniques of ageless humor combined with the technology of tomorrow to bring you an unsurpassed experience in the timely satire of today.

The Kurt Report uses all natural, organic ingredients and does not employ any fillers, binders, artificial sweeteners, added flavors, colors or by products in its production process. The Kurt Report does not engage in animal testing of its jokes. The Kurt Report is produced without MSG or Bovine Growth Hormone. We go to these lengths, at grat expense mind you, in order to provide you a more wholesome and balanced delicacy than would otherwise be the case. Enjoy the Kurt Report with breakfast, lunch, or dinner, or between meals. The Kurt Report is humourosly nutritious.

Thank you for reading the Kurt Report, now get back to work before anyone sees what you're up to.